21 Signs Your Excessive Social Media Habits Are Deffffinitely Ruining Your Life

This piece was originally published on Thought Catalog

1. Your first thought when seeing something cool, beautiful, or artistic is, ’Wow, this would be a great Instagram pic.

2. You reach for your phone the second you wakeup.

3. At the end of the day, you scroll through all the Instagram pics from the past 24 hours.

4. You wonder what filter would make the sunset you look better.

5. You frequently update your page to see how many ‘likes’ you’ve gotten in the past few days.

6. You get nervous when you go out without a fully-charged phone.

7. In the middle of a conversation, you hear someone say something catchy and start thinking, ’Wow, that’d be a great Tweet.’
Continue reading “21 Signs Your Excessive Social Media Habits Are Deffffinitely Ruining Your Life”

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50 Thoughts Every Female Has Before Going Out On A Friday Night

1. Ugh…can I take a nap first?

2. I literally have nothing to wear.

3. Everything in my closet is uglyyyyy.

4. Maybe my roommate will let me borrow that one cute shirt.

5. Damn it! This blouse has a stain!!!!! NOW WHAT??

6. Can I just wear this same skirt I always wear? Continue reading “50 Thoughts Every Female Has Before Going Out On A Friday Night”

I Have A Million Things To Do, So I’m Going To Get Drunk Instead

Ahhh…classic. Here I am sitting on the couch with my To-Do List, the one with the mustard stain in the corner and the bottom half nibbled by my roommate’s puppy. Classy, right?

The list is on a loose sheet of notebook paper, words in purple ink that bleeds through. It’s about twenty or so things, all in my on-the-fly chicken scratch handwriting. And on the back is an assortment of Post-It notes: pink, yellow, and orange in various sizes. ‘Upload that video,’ ‘download ‘Hello’ by Adele,’ ‘call the Dr.’s office,’ ‘p/u package.’

Ask me what I’m talking about on half of them and I couldn’t tell you. But they’re on my list. So that means they’ll get done. Eventually.

Right now I’m going to get drunk. Me, myself, and my cheap plastic wine glass with the ribbon from one of my best friend’s dinner parties almost a year and a half ago. And a bottle of Moscato.

Now you ask any of my friends and they’ll tell you I’m the responsible one. I’m the one who will have everything turned in on time, everything ready to go (though I’m notoriously late to social events…don’t ask me why or how that happens), and my sh*t always together (or at least looking like it’s together). Continue reading “I Have A Million Things To Do, So I’m Going To Get Drunk Instead”