To the Gossip Girls

PSA: It’s not all about being popular.

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A Shout Out to the Middle School BFF

As featured on Thought Catalog.

You were the one who let me borrow your push-up bra, who coached me through my first make-out, who made matching puffy-paint t-shirts for the home basketball games with me, who instructed me in the right way to put me liquid eyeliner around the lower lid of my eye without letting it goop in the sides, who taught me all the inappropriate slag from the rap song ‘Play’ by David Banner, who introduced me to the fizzy, warm taste of Mike’s Hard Lemonades, and who told me I was fat when I ate three slices of Little Caesar’s pepperoni pizza in one sitting.

You were the best and worst thing that ever happened to me.
Continue reading “A Shout Out to the Middle School BFF”

The One Time Binge-Eating Chinese Food Is Healthy For You

Last night me and four other girls squeezed into my girlfriend’s little yellow compact car and drove to the next town over for Chinese food. It was one of those spontaneous decisions. A few of the girls had been talking about it earlier in the day, and as I was mindlessly entering data into the computer at work, counting down the minutes until 5 PM, I thought an all-you-can-eat noodle and sushi buffet sounded like a wonderful idea. Continue reading “The One Time Binge-Eating Chinese Food Is Healthy For You”