11 Essential Tips To Surviving Your LDR (Long Distance Relationship)

1. Snapchat, when used consistently, is actually effective.

There’s something to be said about seeing your significant other’s face at all hours of the day. Bae shoving a sandwich in his/her mouth. Bae walking the dog. Bae cuddled in pillows.

Snapchats can be strangely intimate (and no, I’m not just talking about nudies here). I’m talking the intimate moments your human misses out on, but can still be a part of via the self-disclosing, selfie-positive app. From a goofy pic of you brushing your teeth to a kiss video sent on the subway ride home, Snapchat can actually bring you closer than you think.

2. When bae rings in on Facetime or Skype DON’T IGNORE THE CALL.

Unless you’re in church or talking to your dying grandma.

3. Never, under any circumstances, lie about where you are or who you’re with.

Even if it’s harmless and even if it requires more explaining than you want give at that moment, you tell the truth. Why? Because lies are what cause distrust. Distrust causes fights. Fights cause breakups. And that’s just tragic.

Be honest or break up. It’s really that simple.

4. There are good guy friends/girlfriends…and there are bad guy friends/girlfriends.

There’s the kind you hang out with when you’re single and ‘ready to mingle’…and the kind you hangout with when you’re in a relationship.

You should probably pick the friends that support the fact that you’re dating someone and don’t make you wingman. Or go to the strip club. Or take back to back tequila shots.

5. If you fight, don’t fight over text.

First of all, that’s petty. Second of all, grow up and use your cell to make an actual call. Unfortunately, that’s as good as it’s going to get for now, but hearing someone’s voice is much better than hiding behind a keyboard. You hear the emotion, things don’t get misinterpreted, and sometimes listening to the person you miss so much makes you forget what you were mad about in the first place.

6. Establish texting rules.

There’s nothing wrong with sending the ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ texts. There’s nothing wrong with sporadic, when-we’re-not-busy texting. And there’s nothing wrong with blowing up each other’s phones all day long. It’s all up to what type of person you are, and what type of person bae is.

Have the conversation about how often and how much you want to text each other. Then no one’s feeling neglected or suffocated.

7. Set times to talk to each other and do your best to keep them.

This doesn’t have to be a 5pm every single night kind of thing, but you do have to make an effort to set a time so that there’s nothing in the way and both parties feel like a priority.

Keeping these commitments shows dedication, which is essential in an LDR. But life gets in the way too, so…

8. Be flexible and forgiving (to an extent).

Don’t be the girlfriend/boyfriend who’s demanding to know why he/she didn’t call right at 7 ET on the dot. Understand that people have commitments and try not to be crazy…until you hear their excuse. (But if it’s a pathetic one, then get out while you can!)

9. When you run out of things to talk about, share the random and boring sh*t.

It might sound stupid, but hearing things like ‘I made this amazing pesto ravioli for dinner tonight!’ will make your significant other feel like he/she’s there with you. Even if he can’t taste the mouth-watering creation, he gets to be a part of it and know the little details of your life.

10. Surprises are good.

Take some effort every so often to surprise your boo. Whether that’s buying a cross-country flight to see him (check with the roomies first!) or as simple as a love letter in the mail on a random day, those things really do make a hell of a difference.

It’s the fact that you thought it through, planned it out, and actually did it (without prompting!) that makes your significant other feel important. Which is the goal.

11. Cut it with the social media relationship hyping.

Sadly, no one cares about your relationship except you two and a handful of family and friends. And the people you’re closest to aren’t looking at social media to inform them about your life. They’ll probably call or ask you themselves.

So quit putting your relationship all over internet every day. We all know you’re overcompensating. And you really don’t need to prove your happiness to anyone but yourself.

Shut the computer screen. Delete the ‘45 More Days!’ Facebook countdown and photo collage of your last thirty pictures together. And quit feeling like you have to tell the world how great your LDR is. We all know LDRs suck, but we still commend you for being in one. Especially if you don’t inundate our News Feeds with every selfie you’ve ever taken together.

 

 

This piece was originally posted on Thought Catalog.

Photo Credit: katyveldhorst

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