I’m an over-thinker.
There. I said it.
This is a battle I’ve faced since forever.
Should I wear this sweater, or does it look like I’m trying too hard? What if I run into ___? Should I say hi? Is that weird? What if he smiles at me? Should I be nice? Or should I just smile and walk away? If I wear this dress, will he think I’m trying to look cute for him?
The inner mantra continues. And that’s just as I’m getting ready.
Being an over-thinker is both a blessing and a curse.
1. I overthink, therefore I care. Or vice versa, I care, therefore I overthink. Either way, I don’t just make reckless decisions. I think them through and make them count.
2. I’m (mostly) happy because I overthink. Because I think about what I really want, what matters, what something means.
3. I fight for friendships and relationships and try to make things right. And then (for the most part) I get good results.
All in all, it sounds pretty good, the whole analyzing-the-hell-out-of-life thing. But there are some downsides…
1. I question, worry, and continually wonder if I’m making the right choice. (AKA I overthink the overthinking.)
2. I get all frazzled about what people think or if they hate me over something I never did (because OMG WHYY.)
3. Unnecessary, taking-years-away-from-my-life stress. (Can we just, like, not.)
The whole overthinking thing has its ups and downs. Sadly, I was born with it. And if you’re anything like me…well…sucks. You’re stuck too.
But the other day I had a major realization about my overthinking lifestyle.
I was sitting peacefully, minding my own business, eating a peanut butter and grape jelly sandwich (because you’ll never be too old for pb&j’s!) when a guy (he who shall not be named) passed by. And he gave me a look. I mean a look.
Like one of those, Wow, you’re really sitting there? Eating that damn sandwich, sitting next to that guy? Woooowwwwww. type of look.
And for a moment, just a teeny-weeny moment, I was frazzled.
He was judging me. He was making fun of me. He was being a complete d*ck. (He was.)
Then I stopped. And stopped overthinking. Because why did it matter what he thought of me, or really, what anyone thought of me?
I spend so much time getting all wrapped up in the nonsense, the he-said-she-said, the drama, and the pettiness that I forget IT REALLY DOESN’T MATTER WHAT ANYONE THINKS ABOUT ME.
So I continued eating my pb&j. And smiled.
And that’s the thing about being an over-thinker. You overthink because it’s who you are. I’m not telling you that you need to change, or shut off a part of your brain, or feel like a crappy human. I just want you to acknowledge where you worry too much, and stop.
People are always going to judge you or have something to say. So let them.
Be proud of who you are, proud of your over-thinking self, and like Dr. Seuss said, don’t give those who don’t matter any mind.