I Am Not A Hookup Girl

A few months ago, I wrote an article called “I Am Not A Netflix And Chill Kind Of Girl” which received both positive and negative feedback. This is my response to some of the hate comments. I am (still!) not a hookup girl. And I’m damn proud of that.

I am not a hookup girl. I am not a ‘Netflix and Chill’ girl.

And I am proud of this.

This is the life I want to live: Where I fall in love. Where I don’t sleep around. Where I want to be challenged by my relationship. Where I want to do things and not simply live life vicariously through a TV screen.

That does not make me “needy.” That does not make me “entitled.” That does not make me “selfish,” “self-serving,” “stuck-up,” “shallow,” “conceited,” or a “bitch.”
That makes me a woman with strong opinions. A woman with a voice. A woman who’s confident in herself, and who knows what she wants.

To the men who shame me for this perspective: I’m not interested in you anyways. I’m sorry that asking for your time rather than staring at a screen or having meaningless sex is too “high maintenance” for you. That’s fine. I’ll wait for the right man.

But to be honest, it’s not the men who concern me. It’s the women.

It’s the women who think I’m ‘slut-shaming’ for giving my opinion on the person I am.

This literally has nothing to do with anyone else. But if the shoe fits…

It’s the women who write hateful comments to me, who say I’m “judging” them, that I’m not “letting them live their lives”…is my opinion on ‘Netflix and Chill’ really affecting you so much?

Because it shouldn’t.

Women preach feminism, then break down other women.

Why are you attacking me for expressing my opinion on this aspect of the dating culture? I haven’t done a thing to you. I’ve just written honestly, unapologetically.

I don’t care if you want a Friends With Benefits, a hookup, a casual and open relationship. That’s great.

That’s just not me.

I hate how women have to attack other women for thinking differently or assume, in my case, that I’m shaming them because I have a different opinion.

Newsflash ladies: Feminism isn’t about being b*tches to one another and throwing our bodies around under the guise of independence and sexual liberation.

Do what you want with your life (everyday life and sex life). That’s awesome. I’m not judging.

But Feminism isn’t just about the freedom to have sex. Frankly, it’s really not about sex at all.

To my fellow women: I’m not judging or shaming you for what you do (or don’t do) with your bodies. We have different opinions. That’s good.

We should be building each other up, not breaking each other down.

I don’t think I’m better than you.

But I don’t write hateful comments to you. I don’t call you a slut and every other terrible name in the book. I let you live your lives.

I don’t think I’m better than you.

I just don’t sleep around. And I write about my opinions because I feel they’re important. And guess what? That’s ok.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “I Am Not A Hookup Girl

  1. I read your Netflix and Chill article and I think it was written beautifully. You expressed what you want in a relationship clearly and it is so sad to see men and women alike threatened by this. I have a boyfriend but I would still be the same way about not wanting to sit in front of the TV all the time and going out and having adventures. I agree with you, though. You all can do whatever you want and it isn’t going to bother me any because I’m not them. I think we do need to build women up instead of putting them down. I think the comments were completely asinine except for the positive ones that I did see. Good for you for writing about what you feel and not being sorry for it! You are a fantastic writer! 🙂

    Like

    1. Thank you for your kind words! Yeah, I have to admit, the negative comments brought me down for a while, but what can you do. People will say what they want. But I’m so glad you connected with my words, and thank you again for your feedback! Lovely to e-meet you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome! We actually went to Waldorf together. I was only there for a year. I went to your study sessions for Human development. 🙂

        Like

  2. Hi Marissa,

    As a 55 year old guy that’s had exactly one partner (my wife), I really want to thank you for this blog. I can’t find anyone that shares my views of not sleeping around but reading the comments from your first blog about Netflix, I realize that women calling me a jerk are just mean and bitter. It is so refreshing knowing that there is at least one women out there that is non-religious and non-whorish. So, where are the rest?

    Regards, Rob

    Like

    1. Thank you for this comment. I really appreciate you reaching out to me. There are so many women who feel this way, sometimes it’s just hard to be open about it because we live in a world heavily influenced by the media. There are also perspectives from women that sexual empowerment is what we should have, rather than being abstinent or not sleeping around. As a feminist, I think sexual empowerment can be gained by being selective and not sleeping aroundo just as much.

      Like

Comment!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s