30 Things To Expect When You Have A Long Distance Bestie

  1. Snapchats of her poop. With ridiculous captions.
  2. 3AM drunk texts that look like this: ‘I misssa$$$!’
  3. The casually-added-in-mid-conversation, ‘So when are you coming to visit?’ question.
  4. Random tears because you scrolled past something on your FB Feed that reminds you of her.
  5. Creepy, non-solicited links to guys’ Facebook profiles with added side notes, ‘Is he cute or what?’
  6. Panicked text messages: ‘Should I do dinner and drinks with him?? Yes? No??? Answer me!!!’
  7. Random text messages: ‘Merp. I’m bored.’
  8. Making phone calls on the sly during lunch because you just have to tell her about last night.
  9. Group chats with her, you, and your other BFFs.
  10. Group chats with her, you, and some randoms.
  11. Downloading Tinder just so you can creep on/approve of her potential guys.
  12. Downloading Tinder so you can send her pics of guys to creep on/approve of.
  13. Feeling paralyzed because you don’t know what shirt to buy for the party on Saturday.
  14. Frantically face-timing her half-naked from the dressing room to ask for advice.
  15. 100 second video snaps of her and the girls at the bar…followed by a 10 second sad face and ‘Wish u were her’ caption…then ‘Omgsh **here’. Then a selfie: ‘Lol actually wish u were her tho.’
  16. Phone calls. Lots of phone calls.
  17. Getting tagged in Facebook posts of ‘100 Taco Places You Must Try Before You Die’ or the sappy, ‘All The Things I Love About My BFF’ type articles.
  18. Random updates on her life in a string of messages: ‘I’m starving.’ ‘Going to the store.’ ‘Scratch that. Ordering Chinese.’ ‘OMG. This is so good.’ ‘What ru doing?’
  19. Facebook groups for everything: New Years Eve, Summer Break Plans, Best Friends For Life, Nick Jonas Concert 2017, Bucket List, etc.
  20. Ugly selfies.
  21. Photos of her cat.
  22. Photos of her and her cat.
  23. Email alerts from American Airlines on the cheapest flights to visit her.
  24. Never-ending breakup advice. Both good and bad.
  25. Texts from Mom asking if you’re okay because she told Mom about your breakup.
  26. A play-by-play of her date night.
  27. Giving her a play-by-play of your date night.
  28. Becoming her personal social media stalker and private investigator.
  29. Skyping and binge-watching Netflix on Saturdays because you are both equally hungover and pathetic.
  30. And a bond that’s much deeper, stronger, and weirdly intimate now that you’ve realized how ridiculously difficult life is without her by your side.

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